he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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