Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
foreskin is a definite game changer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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