I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
