oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
