SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
