reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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