If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I want her autograph on my taint
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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