glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
