I CAN MOONWALK!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
