Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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