Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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