he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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