Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
