let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
