Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
