Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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