And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i think i just lost a toe
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
