I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
