Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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