very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How external is "for external use only"?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
