So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
