And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
