Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
