One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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