office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
dude. I can hear the air.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
