if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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