Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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