omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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