Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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