sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
