Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize