Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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