...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
