Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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