Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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