My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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