i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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