you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
