Please, let me fuck your mom
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
