I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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