did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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