haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
