Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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