im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
cat food counts as protein by the way
My ATM looks so different sober.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
