I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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