It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
