I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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