How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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