ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
