seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
